When I was young I was fearless. I would gallop across paddocks, over fences, through thick bush land, without the slightest thought that I might get hurt.
When Dad died I feared that Mum would die too. When I broke my hips I feared it would happen again. I have learnt that in life, both physical or emotional pain, often leads to fear.
But is fear a bad thing?
I have come to realise it is not! When I first came to Portugal I would get on any horse, regardless of its “training” or lack there of, and I would not worry about what happened. This was not a good thing because I didn’t care what happened to me. As I grew into a woman who loves her life, who is grateful for everything she has, fear came with it. A mother will tell you that when she gets back on a horse after having a child, she is different. Not just because her body has changed but because she has one very real reason why she cannot afford to get hurt.
Fear reminds us that we need to be smart, that we need to take care of ourselves. We owe it to the people who love us.
No, fear is not a useless emotion.
For me, the two most useless emotions are regret and self pity. I find nothing more unattractive in a person than someone who pities themselves, and asks for others to feel sorry for them.
Everyone has stuff they need to deal with. There is a huge difference between asking for help, and asking for pity.
On the other hand someone who admits to being afraid is someone that I admire. It’s common in life to fear the things that may actually bring us the most happiness…career change, love, getting back on that horse :).
In fact, the first step in overcoming fear is admitting it.
Don’t look back and wish you had have done something. Regret is useless. Face your fears is a cliche but it is a well known line for a reason. If you are scared ask for help, admit you’re scared, but don’t make up some BS story about why you can’t do something. Be honest, with yourself and with everyone else. You may just find out that others have the exact same fears as you do, and by sharing it you can lesson the load :).